Some tough questions this Monday (or not that tough, depending on where you are with things).
As we start this week, I’d like to ask you:
Where are you directing your fucks?
In his book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Mark Manson points out that, despite the book title, we’re actually always giving a fuck about something.
It’s what we give a fuck about that determines whether we generate more grief or more peace in our lives.
Here’s a very recent example:
There’s this irritating woman who only ever messages me when she needs a favour.
This always used to annoy the holy heck out of me. Upon receiving her message, I’d fume for hours about the cheek of her being such a total fake and a user. I’d text my boyfriend about it that day and every day that week, and then discuss it in person when he came over on the weekend.
In fact, all I had to do was either (a) ignore her messages or (b) say I’m unavailable.
Instead, I’d spend all my time, emotional and mental energy – all my fucks – on this one person.
Anyway, she came at me again last week, asking me to do something.
And this time, I decided that she did not deserve one single fuck from my fuck quota anymore.
I decided to give more of a fuck about all the other far more exciting, fulfilling things that are happening around me right now.
I sent back a super short message to say I can’t make it and got on with my day.
So many of us get caught up in this, right?
We get riled up over something someone said to us.
We get caught up in someone else’s drama that actually has nothing to do with us.
We get stuck complaining about something that we may have no (immediate) control over (the ‘systems’, the ‘structures’, the pandemic…)
And that’s not something to feel bad about (please don’t go over-giving a massive number of fucks now over feeling guilty and shameful about this).
In many cases, it probably just means that you care about something and you want things to be better.
But instead of getting stuck, how can you redirect those fucks towards doing/thinking/responding to/initiating something that will actually feel and be and create something better?
So, I ask you again:
What will you be ‘spending’ your fucks on this week? (or ever)
Will it be on your peace of mind and happiness? Or on fulfilling someone else’s expectations?
Will it be on doing the things that excite and energise you? Or the things that further someone else’s agenda?
Will it be on creating movement and expansion for yourself? Or agonising over what Dave from accounting really meant when he said that snide thing just now?
Hope you have a magnificent week – show ‘em whose boss.